So I wish I could say that my date with Officer Leo was magical or romantic or even entertaining…but it just wasn’t. Before we went out I got a lot of advice from my friend and boss, Emily. She told me no kissing on the first date (because apparently we aren’t doing that anymore?), not to wear anything too hot, not to wear too much make-up and that I probably should take a shower and wash my hair first. I followed some of her advice, but not all…it’s hard to get ready for a date and not want to look your best. June text me earlier that day too- wanted to know if I was anxious, excited or nervous. I felt none of those things… well, except I was feeling a sick to my stomach from the bad soup I ate for lunch… it was almost as if I had nervous diarrhea prior to the date.
Anyway, Officer Leo was very prompt in picking me up. We walked up the street to the restaurant where he had made reservations. It was finally while we were in the restaurant that I got a good look at him. He was wearing a short-sleeve button up shirt tucked into light washed, snug fitting jeans. His jeans weren’t like the skinny jeans guys wear now- tight through the hips and thighs all the way to the ankle. These were like bad dad jeans- really just tight in the crotch showing off his balls. I believe Lindsay Lohan’s dad, Michael, wears the exact same pair. If it weren’t for his horrible outfit, it would be hard to tell that he’s 20 years older than me…that is until he opened his mouth.
Officer Leo and I mostly engaged in small talk- nothing memorable. One thing I do recall was his repeatedly asking me about healthcare reform and other political topics. As soon as I began to speak on these topics he would get a look on his face like it was painful to listen to me. At one point he actually covered his ears. Any factual statement I made he would pipe in with, “allegedly” which was pretty annoying.
Dinner and wine were delicious. I ordered dessert because, well, I knew I wasn’t paying. He assisted me putting my coat on when we were leaving the restaurant, which was quite charming I thought. He walked me to my door and didn’t even attempt a hug (which I felt slightly relieved about). He asked me if I’d like to go to dinner again so I agreed. I still really want to get that shooting range date in. Since Thursday he’s called and text me but I have yet to respond…we’ll see when I get around to it.
This date with Officer Leo brought back so many memories of past dates I’ve been on with old balls- there was The Rock, Big Red, and PH (pseudo heterosexual). Soon I’ll fill you in on the highlights from those experiences…
