Posted August 12th, 2010 by tongue tied tim
Funny Status Update
Tim:
Back from Pete’s wedding. It was nice of him to ask me to be in it. After years of fighting, I thought it was good we could finally squash the days of our youth…However, when I got there he took me into the bathroom and said this is where you will be working tonight… He made me the bathroom attendant and told me not to come out until the wedding was over. — The problem with that was I never got any guidance or training on being a bathroom attendant. The only time I ever encountered one was when I went to a gay bar… so I did what they did… Apparently it is not standard practice to hold IT for them…I’m starting to think that guy wasn’t really an attendant…and I tipped him too!!
More Funny Status Updates
Posted May 5th, 2010 by tongue tied tim
status update
Plain Jane: I didn’t eat for 32 hours and I only lost 1.6 lbs. It’s hard to guage if my body is healthier after that cleanse,either way it sure doesn’t feel worth it. Happily back to eating again
Sara: ‘m happy you’re back to eating too! Let me know how your trainer goes tonight.
Sara: You should go get a massage to help the toxins on their way out. That would make it more worth it… just sayin.
Plain Jane: That’s true, Sara. Very good idea. Also, I could go to the steam or sauna tonight at the gym.
tongue tied tim: You should cut yourself and bleed all the toxins and evil spirits out. then cover your head in cow poop while riding backwards in a buggy. If that doesn’t work you should try holding your breath and drinking a glass of dragons milk through your nose using a twisty straw. Not to be confused with a bendy straw! You don’t want to get pregnant now.
Plain Jane: good advice, Tim!
