Rumors and Gossip: Not Always a Bad Thing
A friend of mine had been dating one of my coworker and he decided to start a rumor about me by telling her and a few other female coworkers of mine that I was very well endowed. He told them a very believable story that he once saw me and it in the showers after gym class . I don’t know what was more funny, the fact that they believed a skinny little white guy like me could be packing a porn star in my pants, or how they went about trying to find out if the rumor was true (1).
While drinking at the bars one night, one of them came up to me and asked me if indeed I had what they were looking for. I guess they all thought I was being modest with my answer because later on one of them convinced me to go back to her place (2). But not until she bought us a few rounds of shots (3).
I was under the impression that this girl thought I was this really funny drunk guy that she must have liked — so we went back to her place (4). We made out a little bit and had a another drink or two. By that time we were both pretty drunk which meant frequent bathroom breaks. I went in to use the bathroom and when I came out, she had already passed out on the couch — ahhh shit that’s not funny; I wasn’t going to get laid that night.
The next day she probably told her girl friends that nothing had happened and that would have been true. The only problem with that was, none of them believed her because she was easy; easy girls always deny putting out — My rumor lived for another day — and a new one had been born — which was that me and her hooked up and the rumor about me was in fact true (5).
The whole thing got kind of weird and eventually we all just moved on. The girl I supposedly hooked up with turned lesbian and swore off guys entirely (6). Others moved away and the last one got fired. The rumor died down but was never disproved — so it lived on. I like to think it still haunts the halls to this day and gives a few of those girls the occasional nightmare — or at least, if they were ever to think about me, they think of me as the funny drunk guy with the big package.
- During this whole ordeal I had no idea that this funny rumor was going around — so I thought maybe these girls actually liked me. Little did I know they were all a bunch of easy girls that wanted to get with a guy that could be in porn — and not in that silly amateur stuff. I’m talking about the pros.
- Later I found out they flipped a coin for me.
- I don’t know what’s with the girls who want to hook up with me and how they think they need to get me drunk before I’ll
put out? To be fair — when I’m sober I have been known to be rather shy and awkward around girls, so I guess they knew
what they were doing — What can I say, I was easy prey for these aggressive girl. - I should have thought twice about going home with her after she told me that I was more funny drunk than I was funny
sober; was that supposed to be a compliment? - It’s funny how rumors evolve — or more like awesome.
- I wonder if I had any part in that.
More of my funny work hook up stories mother %$#@&/raffle for a date
