This is another great story about my times as a valet on the corner of Wilshire and La Cienega in Beverly Hills. It was a steady night at the restaurant and I had already parked several cars that night. During a break in the action this guy who looks just like Barry Bathernath (the funny Jay Chandrasekhar from the Broken Lizard’s film Beerfest) gets my attention from about 50 feet away. He gestures me over as to say he wants to talk to me. I thought, oh he wants his car brought up or perhaps some directions; that was not the case. Instead he had a few questions for me. For story telling purposes we will call this guy Barry.
Barry: Hi, how’s it going tonight? Are you keeping busy?
Me: Yeah it’s a little slow but it’s not bad.
Barry: How’s the money in the valet business these days?
Me: Well, the economy kind of sucks so it hasn’t been all that good.
Barry: So you are not making good tips?
Me: Not really.
Barry: Hey, do you want to make some extra money?
Me: (thinking he wanted me to drop him off somewhere because people asked me that a lot.) What to do you mean; I might be interested?
Barry: You know…
Me: No really, I don’t.
Barry: [long pause and looks me in the eyes] …I’ve never been with a man before.
Me: (thinking this is too funny! this guy is totally gay) OHHH! I’m sorry I don’t think I can help you with that one.
Barry: Well, what if you just sit in the car and watch?
Me: (thinking, watch what?) I’m pretty open to trying new things but I don’t think I would be willing to do that.
Barry: I’ll give you $200.00.
Me: (thinking it would be funny to have him ask my coworker the same question) I can’t help you but maybe [points at coworker] he could?
Barry: I’m not interested in him – he isn’t my type.
Me: Well, I hope you find what you are looking for, I have to go now [as I walk away].
I sure could have used that $200.00 and it’s nice to know that I’m worth about $200.00 to the gay community. I wonder why Barry asked me? I don’t think I put off the gay vibe; I’m just glad he asked me and not some guy who is homophobic because all that was very forward of Barry and who knows how other people might have reacted.
This got me thinking; I should offer my services as a male escort (jestcourt = jester + escort). Not as a sexual thing at all but as a, I’m a pretty cool mildly funny guy to hang out with and you can pay me to go out with you to make you laugh. I’ll provide the jokes and comedy, if you cover the logistics. (You cover all the expenses and transportation + $8/hr for my services). I offer competitive packages, a great rewards program and a money back guarantee.
Contact me if you are interested in my services
timwinter@tonguetiedtim.com
