A coworker hasn’t shown up in over a week – one day she stopped coming in and didn’t tell anyone – She was a no call, no show. Me and some of my other coworkers tried to call her, text her and email her but no one can reach her – she won’t return our calls – We hope that she got another job and simply quit – If this turns out to be more than that I sure am going to feel like a real asshole for putting up all those missing person flyers around the office. I even pulled a pic of her off of facebook and left a hotline number. “if anyone has seen or knows the where abouts of …..please contact….”
Update 1: She finally emailed our boss two weeks later. The email says she was called out of the state on an emergency. She still doesn’t respond to our calls or emails. This proves nothing if you think about it. Anyone could have sent this email – was it her kidnappers that sent it or the “jealous out for revenge ex girlfriend”? – You can’t be sure . Our company is satisfied but I’m not.
Update 2: Over a month and no communication with her. I am convinced she is either dead, in prison, rehab or a secret agent. or she is off on some fabulous vacation with her girlfriend at a place that gets no cell phone reception.
Update 3: Two months have gone by and still no word. everyone has moved on except me. I must have secretly had a crush on this crazy lesbian that swore like a sailor and made loud outburst out of nowhere. I’m pretty sure I could have got her to play for our team if only for awhile. Eventually I would have reminded her why she didn’t like men and she would have gone back to her team. Anyway, I went onto her facebook profile and emailed anyone in her friends list that shared her last name. I asked if anyone had heard from her and no one responded except for this one girl who said that she had never heard of this person. That’s weird because they are facebook friends. Something just isn’t right about this. I am now convinced she is a figment of my imagination and that I created her to cope with the stresses of working for a crap job.
Update 4: Month three of no contact. Out of nowhere she posts an update on facebook, her first since she disappeared nearly three months ago. Her first was to her girlfriend saying that she is canceling her facebook account and that she hopes they can still keep in contact. The second post, posted right after that was a status update that said that she had to cancel her facebook account and that if we wanted to contact her we could send her an email via gmail.
Okay, so she is obviously a real person but what kind of real person? I am now 99% sure that she is a secret agent for the CIA and that her so called girlfriend was actually her partner. They must have been deep undercover for some stakeout on a lesbian biker gang that was in the business of narcotics trafficking and prostitution of mail order brides from Russia? Not sure why she took a job as a keyword researcher at an Internet company though? but hey, I’m not in the CIA so I won’t question their methods.
I sure am going to miss that girl.
