Jenn: At what point can we stop saying “Happy New Year”?
Tim: Happy Ending!!!! that’s what we should say right before New Years.
Jenn: Nice. I support that. I support Happy Endings in general. ; )
Tim: Even when you go through an entire bottle of lube, your grip weakens, and you can really feel the burn in your forearms….How those little Asian women do it, is beyond me.
Jenn: Why don’t you ask them the next time?
Tim: I thought we were done with this! You said you moved on. I’m sorry I got a few handies from a few masseuses while on business in Korea — Town. If it makes you feel any better, it was a business expense and I wrote it off — so if you think about it, it really never even happened.
Brad: Uh, Tim… there are no women in Koreatown.
Tim: That makes so much sense! I did say it was like magic and that it felt like there were three or four hands giving me the massages. I just thought they were really good at it. I think I’m going to be sick.
Brad: Damn, and you just recovered from food poisoning, too… by the way, did your “Extremely Little Timmy” (as you call it) smell like kimchee afterward?
Jenn: Brad: the truth is Tim is as big as an Anaconda. He just likes to downplay it cause he knows you’d be all atwitter with excitement if you knew the truth. I’ve never met you in person but the thought of you all “atwitter” is funny. Especially if it were over Tim’s massive weiner.
Brad: I just vomited in my mouth. So basically, Tim and that Ken doll had virtually nothing in common.
Jenn: Well, besides dazzling good looks and a hot body, no?
Brad: I don’t think we’re talking about the same The Tim Winter.
Jenn: He hasn’t chimed in yet…..wait for it…wait for it…..
Tim: On our first date I accidentally broke her glasses and gave her a mild concussion after I thought it would be funny to trip her down some stairs (an epic fail post for my blog)….. She must have some brain damage because she now thinks she is dating a plastic Ken doll who owns an anaconda…. It’s a good thing that only her opinion of me matters…which happens to be quite a fantasy. works for me.
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