Tim: Turned my apartment into a work place. made cardboard cutouts of coworkers, set up a cubicles, a board room in my bathroom and gave my fish a corner office. damn it! I wanted the corner office. Anyways, I have this thing for the new girl, her eyes are googley and her hair flows like a mop .. ohh shoot, I’m late for my board meeting. we are going to discuss our expansion onto the balcony. I say, putting green!
Jenn: I’m surprised the insanity has set in this early. As for the new girl….just wear a condom okay? I don’t need any staph infections from a dirty Swiffer
Tim: No, i would never cheat on you. I was thinking about asking you and her if we might have a three way though? You can play with her box while I touch her headlights. I’m not going near her box, don’t want to get a paper cut.
Jenn: I’ll consider that but only if she changes the pad on her box first. And not to the pre-moistened ones either. They have a funny smell.
Duke: Office romances are allways a danger
Tim: I know, they always end badly. Actually, I’m already starting to grow tired of her crossed eyed staring and how she constantly turns her head back and forth blowing her stinky breath at me. I just wish there was an off switch on this bitch!
Jenn: Wait…are you talking about me or the new girl?
Tim: no, I love your crossed eyed stare. %)
Brad: Is it bad that when I look at Jen, her eyes don’t look crossed?
Jenn: I only go cross-eyed for Tim. It gets him hot.
Brad: That explains why he kept jizzing in his pants at that mental hospital.
Tim: I make her go crossed eyed when she has to squint real hard to see my wiener. In the case of the mental institute, I just like the whole bondage/restraints thing.
Jenn: We can play mental hospital on Wednesday night.
Brad: No comment.
Jenn: Brad you have a dirty mind. Mental hospital is when I strap Tim to the bed and feed him Jello while singing the airplane song.
Tim: there is always room for Jello.
funny facebook updates: men’s figure skating
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June 30th, 2010 at
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