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	<title>Tongue Tied Tim</title>
	<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com</link>
	<description>funny status updates and awkward stories</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Thu, 12 Aug 2010 15:03:20 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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	<item>
		<title>funny status update: wedding bathroom attendant</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Funny Status Update
Tim:
Back from Pete&#8217;s wedding. It was nice of him to ask me to be in it. After years of fighting, I thought it was good we could finally squash the days of our youth&#8230;However, when I got there he took me into the bathroom and said this is where you will be working [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/status-update-wedding-bathroom-attendant</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>What the 4th of July?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Facebook Update

On this very day in 1879, a ragtag group of militia men single handedly beat back a 10 thousand man strong British army back over the US/Iranian boarder, giving the US the win in the Vietnam war and winning our Independence Day &#8212; So thank you to all you 10 survivors of the 501 [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/what-the-4th-of-july</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Dead Hookers and Birthday Wishes</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Status Update

Happy Birthday Conor! Did you get that midget hooker in the mail yet? I had him shipped all the way from Thailand &#8211; Couldn&#8217;t afford overnight so he might be dead &#8211; which I&#8217;m told is both good and bad for you. You love to have sex with dead things but you also really [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/dead-hookers-and-birthday-wishes</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Funny Facebook Updates: Wheelchair Hood Ornaments</title>
		<description><![CDATA[

Facebook Update 
I ride the bus every day and sometimes a person in a wheel chair gets on. This process can sometimes take 5min; when you got to be at work in 10min, this is time you don&#8217;t have. I thought why don&#8217;t they just stick them on the front of the bus like they [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/funny-facebook-updates-wheelchair-hood-ornaments</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>More Stupid Euphemism Comebacks</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Euphemisms and double-speak about being dumb, stupid and useless; with lame and cheesy comebacks. Kids don&#8217;t try these at home.







Read more: Over 200 Euphemisms for Stupid


]]></description>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/more-stupid-euphemism-comebacks</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Over 200 Euphemism for Stupid and Useless</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Euphemism for Stupid







More stupid euphemism comebacks


]]></description>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/over-200-euphemism-for-stupid-and-useless</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Yo Momma jokes and Fails</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Via: Funny Facebook Updates


Tim: Yo momma so fat she is too big to fail in the fast food industry.

Matt: Yo momma so fat she walked out in front of my car and when I swerved to go around her, I ran out of gas.

Dan: Ooh, Ooh.. I wanna play. Yo momma so fat she sat [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/yo-momma-jokes-and-fails</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>status update: Lost, you Lost me.</title>
		<description><![CDATA[

Facebook Status Update
I&#8217;ve only ever seen a half season of Lost and I&#8217;m now convinced Jacob wants to sell everyone a time share in some swamp land. I really thought he was going to bust out a projector and powerpoint presentation when he had them all together.
Facebook Comments:
Rob: Spoiler Alert!! Dummy.


Read more Funny Facebook Status [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/status-update-lost-you-lost-me</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Status update: job search</title>
		<description><![CDATA[

Facebook Status Update
I applied for some very intriguing jobs on the Craigslist today. One was for a Tug Job Operator in West Hollywood. I didn&#8217;t know there were any lakes in Hollywood. Anyways I applied for it. Another positions I applied for was a Rim Job Specialist. I know I don&#8217;t know anything about detailing [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/status-update-job-search</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Funny Facebook Updates: Kitten Photos</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ Jen: More photos coming soon. It&#8217;s hard to catch them on film.

tongue tied tim: I&#8217;ll do it. I used to take portraits of children at Olan Mills. That was until I was arrested after their employees called the police on me.

Brad: I made the phone call, actually. What&#8217;s with you and all these cats [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/funny-facebook-updates-kitten-photos</link>
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