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	<title>Tongue Tied Tim</title>
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	<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com</link>
	<description>funny status updates and awkward stories</description>
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		<title>I Hate You Too</title>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/i-hate-you-too</link>
		<comments>http://tonguetiedtim.com/i-hate-you-too#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Feb 2012 03:37:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tongue tied tim</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA["that guy"]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://tonguetiedtim.com/?p=1803</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Some funny relationship stuff created by an past coworker of mine. He&#8217;s currently trying to get his movie made called, &#8216;I Hate You&#8217; &#8211; which if you knew Brad, you would say, &#8220;that sounds about right.&#8221; Take a look at his page on kick Starter and if you have a few bucks to spare, kick [...]]]></description>
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Some funny relationship stuff created by an past coworker of mine. He&#8217;s currently trying to get his movie made called, &#8216;I Hate You&#8217; &#8211; which if you knew Brad, you would say, &#8220;that sounds about right.&#8221; Take a look at his page on <a href="http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/whosbrad/i-hate-you/">kick Starter</a> and if you have a few bucks to spare, kick him down a donation. Brad actually helped me write several of my &#8220;how not to&#8221; articles &#8211; so,  I&#8217;m paying it forward with a not so shameless plug of his project. </p>

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		<title>Being a Tim Winter</title>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/being-a-tim-winter</link>
		<comments>http://tonguetiedtim.com/being-a-tim-winter#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Feb 2012 07:41:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tongue tied tim</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[funny pages]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://tonguetiedtim.com/?p=1798</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tweet]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://tonguetiedtim.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/being-a-tim-winter.jpg"><img src="http://tonguetiedtim.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/being-a-tim-winter-1024x1024.jpg" alt="being a tim winter" title="being a tim winter" width="624" height="624" class="aligncenter size-large wp-image-1799" /></a></p>

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		<title>Conjoined Fruit! That&#8217;s just Bananas</title>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/conjoined-fruit-thats-just-bananas</link>
		<comments>http://tonguetiedtim.com/conjoined-fruit-thats-just-bananas#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Feb 2012 04:19:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tongue tied tim</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[funny pages]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://tonguetiedtim.com/?p=1791</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Look what we brought home from the store the other day; conjoined twins! Two bananas one peel. I might have to have a few drinks before i get up the courage to take on this bunch of bananas. One would think this is the type of banana that would grow out of some sort of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Look what we brought home from the store the other day; conjoined twins! Two bananas one peel. I might have to have a few drinks before i get up the courage to take on this bunch of bananas. One would think this is the type of banana that would grow out of some sort of commercial grow operation that uses pesticides and genetically modified fruit &#8211; but no, this is an organic banana. (Insert penis jokes and picture captions bellow).<br />
<a href="http://tonguetiedtim.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/bananas-conjoined-twins-of-the-fruit-world.jpg"><img src="http://tonguetiedtim.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/bananas-conjoined-twins-of-the-fruit-world-178x300.jpg" alt="bananas conjoined  twins of the fruit world" title="bananas conjoined  twins of the fruit world" width="178" height="300" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-1792" /></a><a href="http://tonguetiedtim.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/organic-banana-twins.jpg"><img src="http://tonguetiedtim.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/organic-banana-twins-178x300.jpg" alt="organic banana twins" title="organic banana twins" width="178" height="300" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-1793" /></a></p>

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		<title>Girls Gone Warcraft</title>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/girls-gone-warcraft</link>
		<comments>http://tonguetiedtim.com/girls-gone-warcraft#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:35:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tongue tied tim</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[status updates]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://tonguetiedtim.com/?p=1773</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tim My coworker is getting all excited about the next World of Warcraft game, which got me thinking about how nerdy some people are thought of for playing WOW; mainly by girls. Since he&#8217;s also single, I&#8217;m thinking about creating a website called &#8220;Girls Gone Warcraft&#8221;. I know there are some single girls out there [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Tim </strong></p>
<blockquote><p>My coworker is getting all excited about the next World of Warcraft game, which got me thinking about how nerdy some people are thought of for playing WOW; mainly by girls. Since he&#8217;s also single, I&#8217;m thinking about creating a website called &#8220;Girls Gone Warcraft&#8221;. I know there are some single girls out there that like online role playing games that I can hook him up with&#8230;.I think &#8220;Girls Gone Wow&#8221; sounds good too.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Madi</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>LOVE that game. I&#8217;m excited for the next expansion pack. This one was lame. (<a title="mist of pandaria release date" href="http://www.pandariareleasedate.com/"><span style="color: blue;">mist of pandaria release date</span></a>)</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Andrew</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Hello fair maiden.. I am the Orc that you have been looking for.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Tim</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>and that&#8217;s my coworker Andrew&#8230;.lol&#8230;see what I mean, he needs a girl that is into live action roll playing games and probably a bit of cosplay. lol Google it if you don&#8217;t know what it is.</p></blockquote>

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		<title>Funny Facebook Updates: Shake Weight Obamacare</title>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/funny-facebook-updates-shake-weight-obamacare</link>
		<comments>http://tonguetiedtim.com/funny-facebook-updates-shake-weight-obamacare#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Feb 2011 05:14:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tongue tied tim</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[status updates]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://tonguetiedtim.com/?p=1748</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Status Update Tim: I just hit a softball size piece of concrete laying in the road. flipped over the front of my bike and took out someone&#8217;s side view mirror. Thank god my laptop is okay!!!! Me on the other hand, not so lucky. My hand hurts pretty bad. Not broken hurt but tingly sprained [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2>Status Update</h2>
<p><strong>Tim:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>I just hit a softball size piece of concrete laying in the road. flipped over the front of my bike and took out someone&#8217;s side view mirror. Thank god my laptop is okay!!!! Me on the other hand, not so lucky. My hand hurts pretty bad. Not broken hurt but tingly sprained type of hurt. cracked rib? probably just a muscle bruise. I&#8217;ll hold out going to the doctor until Obamacare kicks in in a few years.  (See a related <a title="Status Update" href="http://tonguetiedtim.com/funny-facebok-update-biking-addiction"><span style="color: blue;">status update</span></a>)</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Matt:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Hopefully it wasn&#8217;t your masturbating hand.<abbr title="Friday, February 4, 2011 at 7:10pm"></abbr></p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Tim:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Ha ha. This is why I bought my gf the shake weight for Christmas!! It&#8217;s times like this!.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Brad:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>[BUZZER]</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>T</strong><strong>im:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>I really did get her a shake weight. She thought  it was funny but later said she didn&#8217;t want more junk laying around her  appartment. So, it&#8217;s sitting here at my apartment</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Brad:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>No comment, you dirty bastard.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Jennifer:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>I suggested he give that stupid shake weight to  his sister but he &#8220;claims&#8221; it was too heavy for his suitcase. I think  rigaberto is using it.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Tim:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>ha ha Jenn, it&#8217;s actually still in the box. I  lost the receipt and don&#8217;t really want to go return it. I&#8217;ll bring it my  gym and leave it in the dumbbell rack.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Plain Jane:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Thanks for trying to push it off on me,  Jennifer! <img src='http://tonguetiedtim.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' />  Seems a bit strange to accept that kind of gift from my  brother. But if it so happen to be gifted to my roommate I&#8217;m not saying I  wouldn&#8217;t test it out.</p></blockquote>
<p>More <a title="Funny Facebook Updates" href="http://tonguetiedtim.com/status-updates"><font color="blue">Funny Facebook Updates</font></a></p>

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		<title>Funny Facebok Update: Biking Addiction</title>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/funny-facebok-update-biking-addiction</link>
		<comments>http://tonguetiedtim.com/funny-facebok-update-biking-addiction#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Feb 2011 03:15:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tongue tied tim</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[status updates]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://tonguetiedtim.com/?p=1743</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Status Update Tim: Now that the swelling and bruising from my bike accident have relatively subsided, I&#8217;m pretty sure I have a cracked rib or sternum. I imagine it&#8217;s a hairline fracture because it hurts to breath deep and when I move in certain ways, it aches. Well, I guess the good news is that [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<h2>Status Update</h2>
<p><strong>Tim:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>Now that the swelling and bruising from my bike accident have relatively subsided, I&#8217;m pretty sure I have a cracked rib or sternum. I imagine it&#8217;s a hairline fracture because it hurts to breath deep and when I move in certain ways, it aches. Well, I guess the good news is that there ain&#8217;t much a doctor can do to fix that so no point going back to the ER .</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Tim:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>and thanks to my leftover Oxycodone with Acetaminophen and Percocet pills I feel like great. I think everyone should take these pills! I highly recommend everyone abuse these pills.</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Effer Isms:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>there&#8217;s a class action lawsuit connected with percocets&#8230; eat em now so you can get in on that. :side effects may include heart explosion and death:</p></blockquote>
<p><strong>Tim:</strong></p>
<blockquote><p>sshhh! don&#8217;t say that, then everyone is going to want those side effects. I do love a good explosion.</p></blockquote>
<p>See more <a title="Funny Status Updates" href="http://tonguetiedtim.com/funny-facebook-update-weight-loss">Funny Status Updates</a></p>

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		<title>Status Update: Bike Wetting</title>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/status-update-bike-wetting</link>
		<comments>http://tonguetiedtim.com/status-update-bike-wetting#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Feb 2011 08:05:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tongue tied tim</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[status updates]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://tonguetiedtim.com/?p=1740</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Note to self and others: When you have a big boys job, don&#8217;t ride your bike to work in the rain. Even if you are an Oregonian living in Los Angeles and say, &#8220;this isn&#8217;t rain, you call this rain?&#8221; &#8211; you will still get soaked on a 4.6 mile bike ride. Boss joked and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote><p>Note to self and others: When you have a big boys job, don&#8217;t ride your bike to work in the rain. Even if you are an Oregonian living in Los Angeles and say, &#8220;this isn&#8217;t rain, you call this rain?&#8221; &#8211; you will still get soaked on a 4.6 mile bike ride. Boss joked and said, &#8220;are you ready for that client meeting?&#8221; I told him that I can make my pants all one color by splashing water on the dry parts. &#8211; today I ride the bus.</p></blockquote>

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		<title>Status Update: Phone Service Breakup</title>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/status-update-phone-service-breakup</link>
		<comments>http://tonguetiedtim.com/status-update-phone-service-breakup#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Feb 2011 08:00:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tongue tied tim</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[status updates]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://tonguetiedtim.com/?p=1738</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Why does canceling my phone service feel like a breakup? I feel i should have done this in person and not over the phone they gave me when we first met. I&#8217;ve been with t-mobile for close to ten years but chose to go to Verizon. What I told the customer service rep, &#8220;it&#8217;s not [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote><p>Why does canceling my phone service feel like a breakup? I feel i should have done this in person and not over the phone they gave me when we first met. I&#8217;ve been with t-mobile for close to ten years but chose to go to Verizon. What I told the customer service rep, &#8220;it&#8217;s not you, it&#8217;s me.&#8221; I finally got to use the line I&#8217;ve heard myself plenty of times.</p></blockquote>

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		<title>Status Update: Hooters and Googles</title>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/status-update-hooters-and-googles</link>
		<comments>http://tonguetiedtim.com/status-update-hooters-and-googles#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Feb 2011 07:53:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tongue tied tim</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[status updates]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://tonguetiedtim.com/?p=1735</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was suppose to see a movie about a killer tire but someone forgot to leave the tickets &#8211; ended up at hooters. Waitress asked me to buy a calendar and I told her I had a Google calendar on my phone. She said, but it doesn&#8217;t have hot chicks&#8230;I told her I had Internet [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote><p>I was suppose to see a movie about a killer tire but someone forgot to leave the tickets &#8211; ended up at hooters. Waitress asked me to buy a calendar and I told her I had a Google calendar on my phone. She said, but it doesn&#8217;t have hot chicks&#8230;I told her I had Internet access to plenty of porn.</p></blockquote>

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		<title>Status Update: Woodchuck in the Forest</title>
		<link>http://tonguetiedtim.com/status-update-woodchuck-in-the-forest</link>
		<comments>http://tonguetiedtim.com/status-update-woodchuck-in-the-forest#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Feb 2011 07:49:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>tongue tied tim</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[status updates]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://tonguetiedtim.com/?p=1732</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If a woodchuck could fart in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound and what about the smell &#8211; does it smell? These are the things that keep me up at night. I heard counting sheep makes it harder to fall asleep so I switched to woodchucks [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<blockquote><p>If a woodchuck could fart in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound and what about the smell &#8211; does it smell? These are the things that keep me up at night. I heard counting sheep makes it harder to fall asleep so I switched to woodchucks chucking chucking wood and thought it was funny if they farted every time they tried to throw a giant piece of wood&#8230;my imagination rules!</p></blockquote>

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