I was headed back to my midget foot fetish porn after getting another gallon of vaseline from the bathroom but I dropped it when I was startled by my parent’s car pulling into the driveway; when I went to run for my room I slipped on the vaseline covered hallway and ice skated into the kitchen, tripped and fell through the doggie door and out into the yard. I ran around to the side of the house to jump through my bedroom window but I got chased by a stray dog the size of a horse and in an attempt to flew from it, I went to jump the fence but got “it” stuck in a knot hole, right as the neighbor was trimming his hedge row; thank god it was only an electric trimmer and the blades were dull. All in one jerking motion to free myself, I tore the entire plank off the fence and found myself running down the street with my dick through a fence plank, not able to see where i was going, covered in vaseline and being chased by a dog. I finally ended up stuck in the sticker bushes next to the middle school. I passed out from exhaustion and or pain, I can’t remember. I woke up in the police station charged with being a sexual predator; with splinters and scratches all over and a lot of explaining to do.
It would suck to be “that guy”
